By Kevin Mogavero

One of the best soldiers I met during my time in the Army was First Sergeant Zackary.

He was my First Sergeant during our deployment to Iraq in Operation Iraqi Freedom.

I’m sure you remember when we invaded Afghanistan and then, a short time later, we declared war with Iraq.

My unit deployed the day we declared that war, March 19^th, 2003.

This story takes place during the 3 weeks that my unit had from notification of deployment up to the day we actually deployed.

As the commander of this unit, I can share with you the kinds of things that go through soldiers’ minds during a time like this.

The first thoughts for most were reminiscent thoughts of the first Gulf War, which was fought to liberate Kuwait from Iraqi oppression, back in 1991.

That war was essentially over in just a few days.

Our soldiers, now, started thinking about the awesome power of the M1A1 Tank and how fast it was able to command the battlefield.

This brought a feeling of security, superiority and some form of ‘machismo’.

Then, reality of the deployment started to sink in.

The idea that we were going to be away from our families with no communication for some unknown time started getting heavy.

The only thing they would know about us is what they would see on the news.

Then we started getting our deployment issue equipment, which included: First Aid Kits, Gas Masks, Chemical Suits, Anthrax Vaccines and Bullet-Proof Plates for our vests.

As we went through the cattle-line to get our equipment and shots, the reality of war was clear and present.

Getting this equipment and going through all the pre-deployment briefings made us start understanding some potential ugly realities.

We started realizing the biggest difference between this war and the first Gulf War.

Back then, the dictatorship knew that we were not going to attack him, rather, we were just going to push his troops out of Kuwait.

This time, he knew we were coming for him.

We all believed that he had chemical weapons and, at this point, he had nothing to lose by using them… liberally.

Images of WWI soldiers tangled in barbwire, suffering the inhuman effects of mustard gas flashed through our minds.

Keeping my unit’s imagination in check, dealing with multiple family issues, getting our vehicles and payload equipment to deployment readiness, receiving and conducting strategic briefings, setting up systems for the families in case the worst happened to their solider and creating/conducting wartime readiness training made things a bit chaotic.

As I was driving at full speed in circles, First Sergeant Zackary came to me and said, “Ya know, Sir, I had a good friend in Special Forces.  He always said that when there were too many things going on at once and things seemed to be getting out of control, he would stick to their motto, ‘Slow is smooth. Smooth is fast.’”

As a good Sergeant does, he always had the right words at the right time.

First, I slowed down the hurricane of thoughts whipping through my mind.

Then, I determined what the priorities were.

Finally, I was able to give a detailed priority list to my troops.

It was amazing to see how my unit changed from being a hive of busy bees to a well-oiled war machine in just a few days.

The one qualification I’ll make is that I had a unit of well-trained soldiers, who knew how to do what needed to be done.

First Sergeant Zackary and I had created an environment where they had a lot of autonomy and trust.

Once I stopped trying to make everything perfect, everything started moving much faster.

I did what my job required, and I did it well.

Then my troops stepped up to the plate and did the same thing.

I was amazed at how much faster things went, when I slowed down.

The rest of the pre-deployment and deployment went very smoothly.

First Sergeant’s cool demeanor was a great asset to the unit.

By slowing down, it was far easier to get everyone focused on opportunities rather than the question, “What’s coming next?”

What’s going on in your life, business, job, marriage, etc.?

Is there any place that seems like too much is going on or is just out of control?

Some place where you just can’t get things done that you want to get done?

Slow down!
Make things smooth!
This will make space for ideas. Use that space wisely!
Don’t use that space to just ‘stay busy’.

If you can find a good source of blogs, books and associations, you’ll be amazed at the ideas that you’ll find to implement in your business.

You’ll be amazed at how that will speed things forward in a far more predictable and controllable way.

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Kevin Mogavero is a co-founder of “Six Degrees of Leadership,” a personal development company that empowers people to live their purpose and passion by building “Social Capital.”

A graduate of West Point Academy, Kevin served six years as an officer in the U.S. Army Field Artillery. He held a combat arms leadership role for his entire career, except one staff position, during which he obtained a Master’s Degree in Leadership and Management. He also served in Iraq during “Operation Iraqi Freedom.” Since the military, Kevin has worked for Honeywell as an earned-value analyst in the aerospace department, in Phoenix Arizona.

He started testing his leadership skills in the entrepreneurial world by starting several companies, to include a real estate company and a business mailing-address company. Kevin loves to serve people who have a yearning to create a better life for themselves and others. He is passionate about teaching people the importance of something that most take for granted: relationships.

Kevin lives in Phoenix with his wife and two daughters. Read and subscribe to Kevin’s Warrior Blog here.

I searched for him half my life,
named with an uncommon sound.

I looked for him around the world,
but this person refused to be found.

Thankfully, I discovered him,
the good news is, you can too.

However, it won’t be easy,
as he reveals himself to just a few.

You can search our government assemblies,
and only hear legends from his past.

You can search our halls of learning,
reading quaint histories fading fast.

You can search our industrial complexes,
viewing his old portraits in the aisles.

You can search our sports arenas,
reading banners going out of style.

Everyone seems to know this person,
but most refuse his name.

I ceased my fruitless search,
hanging my head in shame.

In desperation, I searched within,
realizing his presence all along.

Since no one else will be him,
I can and will, to become strong.

I am now called responsible,
I am the man with the uncommon name.

My friend, you too have this choice,
for you can be called the same.

The search has ended.
The journey is done.

Who is responsible?
I am; You are; Everybody and everyone.

Sincerely, Orrin Woodward

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Orrin Woodward is the co-founder of TEAM, a leadership development and training company, and the New York Times best-selling co-author of Launching a Leadership Revolution.

Named by the International Association of Business as a Top 10 Leadership Guru, he is dedicated to building leaders and entrepreneurs and promoting freedom and prosperity.

Orrin blogs regularly at Orrin Woodward. He lives in Port St. Lucie, Florida with his wife and four children.

Connect With Orrin:

A good book, I think, is distinguished by its ability to transport the reader to ‘somewhere else.’

By this, I mean more than pulp fiction escapism.

I mean a place of new thought, philosophical territory as yet unexplored by the reader, fields of new information, lands of epiphany, skies of new considerations.

One such book provoked in me a thought that surfaces occasionally in my frenzied mind: Width or Depth?

I have written previously in an article entitled Multum, Non Multaabout this concept.

Recently, though, several things have returned my thinking to this same great idea.

One of these pointers was the phrase I Tweeted a week or so ago:

Happiness lies not in getting what you want but in wanting what you have.

In a rushed society of more, bigger, faster, shinier, louder, fancier, more expensive, more expansive, more ostentatious – something must get crowded out.

Usually those ‘somethings’ are the little things.

And often, those little things might be the important things; irreplaceable moments with children, quiet moments in worship and prayer, moments of solitude in deep thought, casual moments with friends, moments of interaction with neighbors, and chance moments of every sort.

In a world that naturally and consistently nods its head in approval at the bigger steps and yawning appetite of MORE, the value judgment seems already made that the smaller stuff is somehow by its very nature less significant.

This might be a tragedy in that we notice the loss less and less as technology and the NEXT THING crowd further into our culture.

However, I am not suggesting a return to Walden’s Pond.

As has almost become a cliche, the truth is most likely somewhere between the extremes.

However, it is worth considering that more contacts, more tasks, more stuff, more engagements, more commitments, more more more might in the end just be less less less.

This article would have been better as a poem, I think, the very representation of saying more with less.

And as an illustration of the very concept that less may be better, I end.

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Chris Brady co-authored the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, Business Weekly, USA Today, and Money Magazine best-seller Launching a Leadership Revolution.

He is also in the World’s Top 30 Leadership Gurus and among the Top 100 Authors to Follow on Twitter. He has spoken to audiences of thousands around the world about leadership, freedom, and success.

Mr. Brady contributes regularly to Networking Times magazine, and has been featured in special publications of Success and Success at Home. He also blogs regularly at Chris Brady.

He is an avid motorized adventurer, pilot, world traveler, humorist, community builder, soccer fan, and dad.

Connect With Chris:

Here is the section from my new book on Jonathan Edwards.Here is another great American who utilized the power of resolutions in his life. Have you implemented RESOLVED: 13 Resolutions for LIFE into your life? Let’s start a resolution revolution together. Sincerely, Orrin Woodward

Jonathan Edwards was a preacher, theologian, a missionary to Native Americans, and shortly before his death, accepted the Presidency of the College of New Jersey (Princeton University).

Edwards “is widely acknowledged to be America’s most important and original philosophical theologian.”

Furthermore, Author George Marsden, writes,

“Edwards was extraordinary. By many estimates, he was the most acute early American philosopher and the most brilliant of all American theologians.At least three of his many works – Religious Affections, Freedom of the Will, and The Nature of True Virtue – stand as masterpieces in the larger history of Christian literature.”

But Edwards began his ministry with little advanced billing.

His first pastoral position in 1722, at 19 years of age, was far away from his Connecticut hometown, in New York City, then a thriving metropolis of 10,000 people.

Dr. Stephen Nichols, author of The Resolutions of Jonathan Edwards, writes of the young pastor,

“Amidst all of this uncertainty and flux, this young man, Jonathan Edwards, needed both a place to stand and a compass for some direction. So he took to writing. He kept a diary and he penned some guidelines, which he came to call his ‘Resolutions.’ These resolutions would supply both that place for him to stand and a compass to guide him as he made his way.”

A.C. McGiffert described Edward’s method of resolutions, “Deliberately he set about to temper his character into steel.”

Tempering is a process to “toughen” the metals, just as written resolutions “toughen” the internal person through study and course corrections.

The tempering process takes time, but the internal fortitude and self-mastery gained living one’s convictions, not one’s preferences, is worth any price.

Jonathan Edwards dutifully wrote out 70 Resolutions (see appendix) between 1722 and 1723.

Edwards committed to read the 70 Resolutions once per week for the rest of his life, and fulfilled that commitment, reading the resolutions more than 1,800 times over the next 35 years.

Here are two of his resolutions.

1. Resolved, that I will do whatsoever I think to be most to God’s glory, and my own good, profit and pleasure, in the whole of my duration, without any consideration of the time, whether now, or never so many myriads of ages hence. Resolved to do whatever I think to be my duty and most for the good and advantage of mankind in general. Resolved to do this, whatever difficulties I meet with, how many and how great soever.

2. Resolved, never to say anything at all against anybody, but when it is perfectly agreeable to the highest degree of Christian honor, and of love to mankind, agreeable to the lowest humility, and sense of my own faults and failings, and agreeable to the golden rule; often, when I have said anything against anyone, to bring it to, and try it strictly by the test of this resolution.

Edwards would have many occasions to apply his resolutions.

After his pastoral service in New York, on February 15, 1727, Edwards joined his father-in-law, Solomon Stoddard’s congregation in Northampton, Massachusetts.

In 1729, Stoddard died, leaving Edwards the sole minister in charge of one of the largest, wealthiest and proudest congregations in the colony.

Stoddard, in his later years, had introduced several doctrinal changes not founded upon scriptures.

Edwards, being new, continued the innovations when he assumed pastoral leadership.

But, in 1749, after years of successful ministry and intensive biblical study, Edward’s conscience balked at the doctrinal errors, precipitating an angry response from church members.

The controversy concluded with Edward’s dismissal by the margin of one vote.

Many would have railed against the injustice, but Edwards, dignified as always, preached his farewell sermon with the truth, love and grace, exiting Northampton without rancor or bitterness.

Edwards was, as Randall Stewart wrote, “Not only the greatest of all American theologians and philosophers but the greatest of our pre-19th century writers as well,” making his gracious humble spirit even more impressive.

He didn’t fight for his rights; instead he merely accepted the ruling as God’s Will, taking a position as missionary to the frontier Indians.

Edwards consistently displayed a grace-filled spirit of forgiveness to his many detractors, some who, years later apologized for their involvement in the misinformation spread.

Can one imagine the infamy of being associated with the congregation that dismissed one of the best theologians and philosophers in American history?

But Edwards, in his final years, never missed a beat, writing several classics of Christian literature, leaving an enduring testament to the power of character-based resolutions to transform a person from the inside out.

Edwards faithfully lived his principles externally because that is who he had become internally.

Specifically, he didn’t just give lip service to his resolutions, he truly lived them.

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Orrin Woodward is the co-founder of TEAM, a leadership development and training company, and the New York Times best-selling co-author of Launching a Leadership Revolution.

Named by the International Association of Business as a Top 10 Leadership Guru, he is dedicated to building leaders and entrepreneurs and promoting freedom and prosperity.

Orrin blogs regularly at Orrin Woodward. He lives in Port St. Lucie, Florida with his wife and four children.

Connect With Orrin:

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Kevin Mogavero is a co-founder of “Six Degrees of Leadership,” a personal development company that empowers people to live their purpose and passion by building “Social Capital.”

A graduate of West Point Academy, Kevin served six years as an officer in the U.S. Army Field Artillery. He held a combat arms leadership role for his entire career, except one staff position, during which he obtained a Master’s Degree in Leadership and Management. He also served in Iraq during “Operation Iraqi Freedom.” Since the military, Kevin has worked for Honeywell as an earned-value analyst in the aerospace department, in Phoenix Arizona.

He started testing his leadership skills in the entrepreneurial world by starting several companies, to include a real estate company and a business mailing-address company. Kevin loves to serve people who have a yearning to create a better life for themselves and others. He is passionate about teaching people the importance of something that most take for granted: relationships.

Kevin lives in Phoenix with his wife and two daughters. Read and subscribe to Kevin’s Warrior Blog here.

Here is a portion of the introduction from my new book RESOLVED: 13 Resolutions for LIFE. George Washington focused on building his character every day. This is important for all of us. Have you resolved to grow personally and professionally? Sincerely, Orrin Woodward

By nature, young Washington had a fiery temper, but he developed an iron-willed discipline in order to check its excesses.

Richard Norton Smith, in his book, Patriarch, said,

“The adolescent Washington examined Seneca’s dialogues and laboriously copied from a London magazine one hundred and ten ‘rules of civility’ intended to buff a rude country boy into at least the first draft of a gentleman”.

The French Jesuits had originally developed the 110 Rules as principles to live by, and Washington’s methodical writing process helped him to adopt many of these maxims as his personal resolutions for life.

As Richard Brookhiser, author of Founding Father, wrote,

“His manner and his morals kept his temperament under control. His commitment to ideas gave him guidance.

Washington’s relation to ideas has been underestimated by almost everyone who wrote of him or knew him, and modern education has encouraged this neglect. . .

His attention to courtesy and correct behavior anticipated his political philosophy.

He was influenced by Roman notions of nobility, but he was even more deeply influenced by a list of table manners and rules for conversation by Jesuits.”

Character and self-mastery were his goals through living his guiding ideals of fortitude, justice, moderation, and the dignity of every human being.

For Washington, life became a series of resolutions to live by.

He wrote and studied many such maxims throughout his life. Here are two examples. (see appendix for more)

1. With me it has always been a maxim rather to let my designs appear from my works rather than by my expressions.
Happiness and moral duty are inseparably connected.

2. Washington developed and studied his maxims repeatedly, becoming convicted of the correctness of the maxims, teaching virtue over happiness and duty over rights, resolving to live based upon the principles implied within them.

Katherine Kersten, in George Washington’s Character, asks:

“What would Washington have accomplished if happiness, rather than integrity and service, had been his life-goal?

Instead of suffering with his men through the snows of Valley Forge, he might have followed the example of Benedict Arnold, another Revolutionary War General.

Though brave and talented, Arnold valued his own well-being and prosperity above all else.

Out of self-interest, he plotted to betray West Point to the British, and died a traitor to his nation.

What can we learn from Washington and his contemporaries about character-building?

They teach us, most importantly, that “the soul can be schooled.” Exercising reason and will, we can mold ourselves into beings far nobler than nature made us.”

The ending quotation summarizes character-based training beautifully – “the soul can be schooled”.

Washington attended this class daily on his way to developing the nobility of character needed to unite the American colonies.

General Henry Knox spoke truthfully when he shared that it was the strength of Washington’s character, not the laws of the new Constitution, that held the young republic together.

In a tribute to his friend, Congressman Henry “Light-Horse Harry” Lee eulogized Washington, saying,

“First in war, first in peace, and first in the hearts of his countrymen, he was second to none in humble and enduring scenes of private life.

Pious, just, humane, temperate, and sincere; uniform, dignified, and commanding; his example was as edifying to all around him as were the effects of that example lasting…

Correct throughout, vice shuddered in his presence and virtue always felt his fostering hand.

The purity of his private character gave effulgence to his public virtues…

Such was the man for whom our nation mourns.”

Lee’s tribute testifies to Washington’s faithful application of his resolutions into his life, living his maxims both privately and publicly.

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Orrin Woodward is the co-founder of TEAM, a leadership development and training company, and the New York Times best-selling co-author of Launching a Leadership Revolution.

Named by the International Association of Business as a Top 10 Leadership Guru, he is dedicated to building leaders and entrepreneurs and promoting freedom and prosperity.

Orrin blogs regularly at Orrin Woodward. He lives in Port St. Lucie, Florida with his wife and four children.

Connect With Orrin:

The decree appointed a day “to be observed by acknowledging with grateful hearts the many and signal favors of Almighty God.”

While there were Thanksgiving observances in America both before and after Washington’s proclamation, this represents the first to be so designated by the new national government.
 
 
 

General Thanksgiving
By the PRESIDENT of the United States Of America
A PROCLAMATION

“WHEREAS it is the duty of all nations to acknowledge the providence of Almighty God, to obey His will, to be grateful for His benefits, and humbly to implore His protection and favour; and Whereas both Houses of Congress have, by their joint committee, requested me ‘to recommend to the people of the United States a DAY OF PUBLICK THANKSGIVING and PRAYER, to be observed by acknowledging with grateful hearts the many and signal favors of Almighty God, especially by affording them an opportunity peaceably to establish a form of government for their safety and happiness:”

“NOW THEREFORE, I do recommend and assign THURSDAY, the TWENTY-SIXTH DAY of NOVEMBER next, to be devoted by the people of these States to the service of that great and glorious Being who is the beneficent author of all the good that was, that is, or that will be; that we may then all unite in rendering unto Him our sincere and humble thanks for His kind care and protection of the people of this country previous to their becoming a nation; for the signal and manifold mercies and the favorable interpositions of His providence in the course and conclusion of the late war; for the great degree of tranquility, union, and plenty which we have since enjoyed;– for the peaceable and rational manner in which we have been enabled to establish Constitutions of government for our safety and happiness, and particularly the national one now lately instituted;– for the civil and religious liberty with which we are blessed, and the means we have of acquiring and diffusing useful knowledge;– and, in general, for all the great and various favours which He has been pleased to confer upon us.

“And also, that we may then unite in most humbly offering our prayers and supplications to the great Lord and Ruler of Nations and beseech Him to pardon our national and other transgressions;– to enable us all, whether in publick or private stations, to perform our several and relative duties properly and punctually; to render our National Government a blessing to all the people by constantly being a Government of wise, just, and constitutional laws, discreetly and faithfully executed and obeyed; to protect and guide all sovereigns and nations (especially such as have shewn kindness unto us); and to bless them with good governments, peace, and concord; to promote the knowledge and practice of true religion and virtue, and the increase of science among them and us; and, generally to grant unto all mankind such a degree of temporal prosperity as he alone knows to be best.

“GIVEN under my hand, at the city of New-York, the third day of October, in the year of our Lord, one thousand seven hundred and eighty-nine.

(signed) G. Washington

My dad has been gone for 21 years.  That’s nearly half my life, yet sometimes it seems like an eye-blink.

I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve encountered him in my dreams and seized precious moments to say what needed to be said only to wake up to the reality of his absence.

One of the greatest lessons my dad taught me during his short 56 year lifespan was the value of legitimate pain.

Pain Can Be a Good Thing?

Few things in life are as under-rated as legitimate pain.  Many of us spend our entire lives in a state of pain avoidance as if any pain whatsoever is somehow evidence of failure.

To be sure, pain is never fun and only a masochist would actually seek it out.

But some types of pain are a necessary part of living in that they serve the essential purpose of teaching us lessons that refine us and leave us better than before.

An example of this is the pain experienced by those who exercise and push themselves beyond the level of sedentary comfort.

It’s a temporary pain, evidenced by sore muscles and burning lungs, but it serves a purpose and the body is stronger for having invited it and endured it.

There is also well-founded pain in the sorrow that follows a realization of wrongdoing and it is what helps inspire the repentant individual to steer a more true course.

Legitimate pain has a purpose and should be distinguished from illegitimate pain.

Avoidance of legitimate pain is a short-sighted mistake in that it robs us of powerful opportunities to grow on numerous levels.

How I Learned My Lesson

On the day after Thanksgiving 1989, my father informed me that he had been diagnosed with terminal cancer and nothing more could be done.  As he wasted away, it became increasingly difficult to accept the reality that he would soon be gone.

This was the first time I had faced the loss of someone close to me.  I was deeply confused by a flood of powerful emotions that surged over me.

In a fit of misplaced anger, I defiantly resolved that I would be strong and would not allow myself to shed a single tear over his passing.

To make good on my vow, I stubbornly refused to visit my father’s death bed or speak to him during his last two weeks. I even made a point to steer clear of my grieving relatives.

The legitimate pain and doubt that followed this decision was not avoided, but merely deferred.

What should have been a natural period of mourning followed by healing instead became long-term sorrow and suffering that persisted for years.  All this for trying to avoid the legitimate pain of losing my father.

By contrast, when my grandfather reached the end of his life, I made a conscious decision to spend as much time with him as possible and to openly tell him how much he meant to me and how I would miss him.

I was with him as he drew his final breath and was stunned at the sense of peace and calm that filled the room as he passed.

The healing from the loss of my grandfather was swift and sure, unlike the doubts and sorrow that dogged me for years following my father’s death.

There were no regrets for missed opportunities.

The pain that accompanied my grandfather’s death provided me with much needed strength and growth. It was a powerful lesson about the benefit of embracing and not avoiding legitimate pain.

Better Than We Were Before

Avoidance of legitimate emotional pain is a very simple trap to fall into.

Fortunately, the harmful effects can be negated and the value of legitimate pain proven by squarely facing those individuals or situations in which we find pain then earnestly seeking to mend what’s wrong.

Somethings cannot be fixed, but the pain still serves a purpose.

In the case of a dying loved one, this can take the form of expressing your love for them as well as your sorrow.  Something incredibly healing occurs for both parties when a dying person is wiping your tears away.

There is great peace found in extending sincere forgiveness to those with whom we are estranged whether they accept our overtures or not.

Strangely, these are things that must be experienced to be believed.

Instead of wearing ourselves out in an effort to avoid pain at all costs, we must distinguish between destructive pain and legitimate but temporary pain that, while unpleasant, ultimately leaves us stronger and wiser than it found us.

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Bryan Hyde is a radio host, husband, father, graduate student at George Wythe University, and seeker of truth. He does professional voice work through his company One Clear Voice.

Bryan blogs at Hydeologue.com. He and his wife Becky are raising their six children in Cedar City, Utah.

Connect With Bryan:

By Kevin Mogavero

“Named must your fear be before banish it you can.” ~ Yoda

Ya’ gotta love Yoda!  The thing I love most about this particular quote is that he ends the sentence with, “you can.”

Which is a pretty powerful assumption – that you can banish your fear.

It’s pretty amazing that banishing our fears and achieving our dreams can be accomplished the same way.  They both come down to being very specific.

As Yoda says, you must name your fear… that is not to say give your fear some artificial name, but take a few minutes and find it.

If you can really find the source of your fear, you can “banish” it in a sense.

By banish, I mean putting it in the corner like a misbehaving child, not that you can make it permanently go away.

My fear of being stupid started back when I was about 5-years-old.  My parents took some steps (that seemed drastic at the time, but now that I’m a parent I see they weren’t very drastic at all) to try and calm me down.

I was very hyper active.

At the moment that I understood that their actions were in direct response to me, I suddenly felt “stupid,” like there was some certain way to act, and I somehow just didn’t know what that way was.

Being aware of this, I can trace back a lot of the fears I have today to that incident when I was 5-years-old.

If you’re a human and you’re reading this, you have a story like that too, some point in time as a young child that you can remember when things somehow changed for you.

Finding that point is what I mean by “Named must your fear be.”

The more specific you can be in identifying this moment and the feelings, words and thoughts you had at that time, the better you will be able to banish your fear.

Once you identify the fear you can then separate yourself from it.

Viewing yourself, and your fear, in your mind from the third person perspective allows you to see that you have a fear – rather than – you are your fear.

Just being able to do this will increase your courage to do things. The statistic that I would make up on the spot would be over 1,000%

Your dreams work in much the same way.  Once you peel the onion back enough, you start getting to the heart of the matter.

On a reflex, most people say that their dream is to have money and freedom.  These are such vague ideas that it’s impossible to determine what the actual desire is.

In fact, no one wants money; they want the STUFF they think money gives them – security, houses, vacations, cars, clothes, food, businesses, investments, etc.

When it comes to freedom, most people don’t really even know what that means.  Freedom is actually a result of amazing self-discipline.

What most people are really after is liberty, the ability to do whatever they want – which, without discipline almost always ends up in a personal loss of freedom.

So the first step is determining what it is you really want, or want to do.

Second, it requires taking away the lazy thought pattern of When/Then.  When I save a million dollars, then I’ll take that mission trip to Africa.

Remarkable people are the ones who choose what they want, and don’t change their mind.

You can look back at people like George Washington to Gandhi to Henry Ford.  They were very specific on what they wanted.

They didn’t rely on their feelings or intuition during the process to determine if they were going to keep their word or not.  Even when they didn’t want to do it, they did it.

I heard an interview with David Foster (writer of the most #1 hit song since they started tracking them) where he was asked, “So what do you do when you don’t feel inspired to write a song, but you’ve got to have one done?”

He answered, “I just write the song.  It may not be a great song, but if I said I’d write a song, then I write the song.  It doesn’t matter how I’m feeling.”

Note there is not When I feel inspired Then I will write a song.  Instead he takes on “Now that/ Then I’ll” thinking.

Now that I’ve got steps to take to get to where I want to go, Then I’ll take the necessary steps because I am not my feelings, nor will I let them dictate my path in life.

In order to have Now that/Then I’ll thinking, you must have a clearly defined objective and then figure out what you can do right now to be taking a step towards it.

Most marathons and cross-country races are not run on a straight and flat path.

The runners don’t know the whole path ahead of them.

They know what they’ve got to do right now, they look for the next turn and they know where the finish line is.

Here is a quick wrap up…

1. Banish fear by digging deep enough to identify it, and then view it and yourself from a third person perspective and realize that you are not your fear.
   
2. Identify what you want what is worthy of your effort.  When you don’t “feel” like doing it, view yourself and the thing you want from a third person perspective and realize that you are not your feelings.
   
3. Get rid of lazy “When/Then” thinking and replace it with possibility creating “Now that/Then I’ll” thinking.

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Kevin Mogavero is a co-founder of “Six Degrees of Leadership,” a personal development company that empowers people to live their purpose and passion by building “Social Capital.”

A graduate of West Point Academy, Kevin served six years as an officer in the U.S. Army Field Artillery. He held a combat arms leadership role for his entire career, except one staff position, during which he obtained a Master’s Degree in Leadership and Management. He also served in Iraq during “Operation Iraqi Freedom.” Since the military, Kevin has worked for Honeywell as an earned-value analyst in the aerospace department, in Phoenix Arizona.

He started testing his leadership skills in the entrepreneurial world by starting several companies, to include a real estate company and a business mailing-address company. Kevin loves to serve people who have a yearning to create a better life for themselves and others. He is passionate about teaching people the importance of something that most take for granted: relationships.

Kevin lives in Phoenix with his wife and two daughters. Read and subscribe to Kevin’s Warrior Blog here.

Adversity Quotient (AQ) is the ability to persevere through numerous setbacks in order to achieve one’s dreams.

Everyone has the ability to develop AQ, but winners through purpose, vision, and perseverance develop it, while the rest do not.

The LIFE community is a great way to start learning AQ. Here is a portion of the Adversity Quotient chapter from RESOLVED: 13 Resolutions for LIFE. Enjoy. Sincerely, Orrin Woodward

Two Types of Pain

Another compromise that leads to failure and despair is an improper response to the pain inherent in the process of growth.

There are actually two types of pain: one comes from the inside due to the change process; the other comes from the outside due to criticism from those unwilling to make the same changes.

Hope is the only fuel capable of burning through both types of pain.

Without hope, either of the pain versions will trump one’s willingness to endure, instead choosing to stop the pain by quitting the journey.

Author Robert Grudin writes,

“One might reply that most people who surrender simply lack the ability to get very far. But it is more accurate to say that ability and intelligence, rightly understood, include a readiness to face pain, while those characteristics which we loosely term ‘inadequacy’ and ‘ignorance’ are typically associated with the avoidance of pain.”

When the pain reaches a certain threshold, everything inside of a person screams for relief, but champions, people with high AQ, persevere.

Continuous Focus

Pain is overcome through the continuous focus on one’s purpose.

Moreover, achieving greatness will require a faith that can move mountains, an AQ to endure the rising pain in the process, eventually reaching levels of success that more timid souls refuse to believe possible.

Grudin elaborates on the outside pain given to achievers as an unjust reward for their quest for personal excellence:

“Modern society has evolved an idiomatic defense of non-achievement so subtle and elegant that it almost makes failure attractive.

“We can equivocate with failure by saying that we could not stand ‘the pressure’.

“We can inflate mediocrity by calling cow colleges universities, by naming herds of middle-level executives, vice presidents or partners, and by a thousand other sorts of venal hype.

“We can invert the moral standard by defending a fellow non-achiever as being too sensitive or even too good for the chosen arena.

“This double rejection of pain—a surrender sanctified by a euphemism—has in our time achieved institutional status. Because it includes its own anti-morality, it can be passed on with pride from generation to generation.

“Other ages may have been as full of non-achievers as ours, but no other age, I believe, has developed so comprehensive a rhetoric of failure.

“To conclude, then:  those people in quest of intellectual dignity and independence in the late twentieth century must act in a cultural context that has done its best to annul or camouflage one of the key elements in the quest, the challenge of pain.

“For this reason such people currently labor under a double burden: they must face the pains inherent in their task, and they must do so in a culture that has little appreciation for their suffering.”

What Winners Know

Today’s achievers then, handle not only the traditional pain associated with excellence, but the additional pain associated with the envious prattle of today’s internet age non-achievers.

Champions understand that it’s better to be mocked and criticized by non-achievers, than to become a non-achiever themselves.

AQ can be developed, but only through discarding excuses, rejecting compromises, and choosing to feed one’s faith, not one’s fears.

In order to achieve dreams, people must willingly surrender who they are, to become who they dream to be. One cannot have his cake and eat it too.

AQ refuses to surrender personal responsibility (what one desires) to an impersonal environment (what is offered).

Bestselling author Chris Brady, in his book Rascal, articulates what it takes to break free the herd,

“It takes character to be different. It takes character to stand apart from the masses for legitimate, purposeful reasons.

“It takes character to be who God called you to be without succumbing to the pressures of others and their ideas of who you should be and how you should live.

“For those who embody this concept and live a truly authentic life, we will assign the name of Rascal.”

People with AQ are Rascals, refusing to be lulled to sleep by comfort, choosing instead, to pursue their convictions over conveniences.

Rascals pay the temporary price of pain for success, rather than pay the permanent price of regret for failure.

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Orrin Woodward is the co-founder of TEAM, a leadership development and training company, and the New York Times best-selling co-author of Launching a Leadership Revolution.

Named by the International Association of Business as a Top 10 Leadership Guru, he is dedicated to building leaders and entrepreneurs and promoting freedom and prosperity.

Orrin blogs regularly at Orrin Woodward. He lives in Port St. Lucie, Florida with his wife and four children.

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